Facing the Past and Moving Forward
by rmb151106
Summary: Jess faces the past while still in California wondering what his next course of action will be. Will he decide to go back to Stars Hollow and Rory or will he try to move on without her? Takes place between episodes 3.21 and 3.22. one-shot possibly.


**A/N:** Since this is my first fanfic I thought I would start with something small. This is a one shot story for now unless you guys want me to continue with it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the very sexy Milo Ventimiglia or Gilmore Girls sadly.

**Summary:** Jess ponders the past few events in his life and his relationship with Rory while on the beaches of California wondering what his next course of action will be. Will he decide to go back to Stars Hollow and Rory or will he try to move on without her? Takes place between episodes 3.21 and 3.22

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Jess stood there staring at the vast, clear blue ocean that spread before him as small rolls of waves that glistened from the rays of the sun shining down, moved in and out at a steady rhythm. A light breeze brushed against him, caressing his cheeks and slightly rustling his bronze, messy hair that stood on top of his head in tangles. The warm glow of the sun covered his body with its heat. He took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the clean air and taking in the salty but sweet scent of the ocean through his nose, and rolled up the sleeves of his cream color, button up, cotton shirt. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other causing the pale yellow sand to shift underneath the soles of his converses.

He continued to stand there taking the scene around him in and thinking about the past few weeks of his life. Just three weeks ago he was living in a small eventful town, where everyone knew each other and spent time together with contests and events just to do something fun, with his uncle Luke in a once tiny but now cozy apartment just above Luke's diner. He was dating the most beautiful and incredible girl he had ever laid his eyes on who shared the same love and passion for books and music that he did. She had silky smooth long brunette hair that complimented her heart shaped face, a smile that was always gentle but outshone even the sun on its best day and would melt his heart from its warmth, a heart that was only filled with kindness and love, and eyes as clear blue and beautiful as the ocean in front of him and whenever they looked at him they would pierce right through him, through his stone cold walls, and see his very soul, his true self.

But in the course of just one week everything fell apart. He learned that he couldn't get tickets to prom because he flunked out of school also meaning that he couldn't graduate from high school. Things only got worse from there. He went to a party where he got into a fist fight with the freakishly tall bagboy, Dean, then was later accused of starting it when it was Dean who threw the first punch. Afterwards he tried to ignore the events of that night hoping that he could cool off a bit but later got into an argument with Luke where he finally revealed that he failed school and in the heat of the argument said that he wasn't going to finish school causing Luke to kick him out. He had so many things bad happening to him and a mixture of emotions, such as anger and pain, running through him that it felt like the world was crumbling beneath his feet and he didn't know how to deal with it all.

Everyone seemed to hate him and Luke kicked him out so he had nowhere to go and he felt utterly alone. He remembered his "father" Jimmy visiting and telling him that he lived in Venice, California so he decided to take the easy way out and head over there hoping to be able to live with and get to know Jimmy a bit while trying to run away from his problems.

Jess clenched his jaw and tightened his fists at the memories. Here he was, in Venice, California, but he was in an even worse situation. He and Jimmy constantly got into arguments about everything they could think about, Sasha, Jimmy's girlfriend, seemed to have a strong dislike of him, he was stuck sleeping on the floor of a small, cramped house, he spent most of his time alone with no one to talk to, and he just couldn't stop thinking about her.

He sighed as he loosened his muscles. He missed the long effortless talks and debates about books that he would have with her, he missed the beautiful sound of her laughter, he missed the soothing sound of her voice, he missed her delicate and smooth skin underneath his fingertips, he missed her soft rosy lips upon his, and he missed the feel of her body against his as he had his arms wrapped securely around her with the knowledge that she was there with him. She was the first and only girl that he ever truly cared about. She understood him like no other and she made him feel warmth and happiness just by being with him, something he's never felt before her. His feelings for her were so powerful that it was overwhelming him. He misses and he loves Rory Gilmore.

As that final thought filled his mind every cell in his body screamed at the very truth of those words. Finally, realization dawned on him. He has to go back to Stars Hollow, he has to apologize to his uncle Luke, he has to finish school, he has to work harder, he has to change, and he must go back to Rory and tell her that he loves her. He's done trying to run from his problems and is ready to face them head on.

Rory's graduation is in three days and he has to be there for her. Jess' chocolate brown eyes flared with determination as he picked up his worn out, olive green duffel bag that was leaning against the sands of the beach that he stood on and strapped it over his right shoulder. He looked out to the ocean for the last time, smiling, before he turned and started walking away from the sunny, peaceful scene and walking towards his new challenge. He felt fear at what the outcomes may be and what the future holds but he was finally ready to face it head on no matter the consequences.

'I stand before, a road that will lead,

Into the unknown. At least unknown to me.

I want to go, but I'm paralyzed with fear.

Fear for a choice, where the outcome isn't clear.

No, but still I go.'

~ Hoobastank "Moving Forward"

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**Well there you have it, my first fanfic. I really hope you guys liked it and if you would like me to continue the story then let me know. Reviews are **_**greatly **_**appreciated. Oh and I thought that adding some lyrics from a song that goes along with the story would be a nice touch. Thanks again for viewing!**


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